When do we know that our time is wasted? If this is asked from many of us then, a common answer will be inclusive of similar words. These words would undoubtedly head to a word 'Nothing'. Yes we have known this fact. We slay our time when we do 'nothing'.
Today I did NOTHING. I had to prepare for my exams. My mind was generating pulses of tension. I was a bit tensed. But I watched a movie that was to be watched from a long-long time. I was there watching that movie(in that moment). But some one in my
mind was constantly echoing with loud distracting words: “Aren’t you wasting your time?"
I tried to nudge the thought out of mind. I tried harder and harder. But the thought persisted. I ate my favorite food, had a bike ride, strayed in streets. I just did 'Nothing'.
At last I sat quiet in my room, closed my eyes and various thought tried to capture my mind. I maintained calm. As sometimes things get worst and there is no law which can help you in redemption. This time I wanted to do nothing. If I had been a nerd, I could have stopped doing my 'nothing'.
Inside my heart I knew that the one who made laws and who said that doing nothing was a time-wastage was someone who himself wasted it. I believe that I am master of my fate and I can choose to do anything with my time. I don't want to follow the rules made by that one person who said by himself and we follow it. I revere his efforts but I want to lay down my own laws to live this life.
Tomorrow morning I will wake up with a bit of guilt. As this nothing would cost me a bit of heartache. Still I will get up and will start doing something. My lesson of NOTHING is earned.
Day started with advices to keep yourself healthy after donating blood. My father who had gone through this noble phase served me with milk and cornflakes. His advices were quite edible with my early morning breakfast. In college all of us (who were interested in donating blood) wrote application to our Principal. After requisite permission we left for the camp. Some of us there didn't fetch their Id proofs. So, I came back to my college and took their temporary Id's. Most of us (who were eligible) donated blood and we had our refreshments.
There was on boy 'Yuvraj'. He was very happy that for the first time he was going to donate blood. But he was not 18+. So, he couldn't make it. While I was donating blood, he was standing besides me. I tried to placate him by saying some flowery words. He listened to me. But I could read his eyes. He was not happy with the denial. He left to meet his other mate who was donating blood.
I was resting on the bed. My blood was rushing out in a bottle, but inside my blood was rushing to my mind too. I felt an inciting human spirit in the boy's eyes. A spirit which shows that a human stands for human. Whether his is half sane or more. But when it comes to take a stand for a cause then, something weak (and lovable) part of humans make them do noble works.
When we came back to our college. I could see all sharing union of noble smile.
And... I
This day I got an idea about how far can a human sane limit ranges. May be it is a bit of a lesson. But I am sure life will help me feel more of its context. :)
Life never comes easy handed. Many a times it’s a game which try to deceit you with despair at front and happiness at back end. Sometimes we make prominent choices, leaving options to destiny. But some other times destiny chooses our options and we wait for out time and choices....
Same is with man whom I saw doing his work at a construction site. He is working over there with a forced will, nailed with intentions to raise his family and meet his basic needs.
What happens when we see a regal car road? Most of us feel pumped up. We look at marvelous creativity on road. But here he is walking past a car. He is not interested in running comfort wagons. I doubt if he had ever gave a thought to what DREAMS are. Here I am sitting on my PC and finding my way of dreams and someone else doesn't care for the word DREAM. It's ironic to our haste of living. We thing we are moving fast. Nano and nano plus technology. But we ignore a major side of society. I am doing my bit for them. I am trying to be a voice to them. And believe me; we all can do this bit for them daily. Maybe a simple smile will do. Who knows? So we should not wait for chances as they come to those who don't wait for them.
and walking he thinks...
"What was my sin what is more worst than this?
I am toiling in field as destiny never gave me a will...”
"There is no such simple thing as life, and there is no such difficult thing as life,choice is always ours..."
Sometimes we are so much caught up into things that we don't realize that we are making ourselves sacrifice. People love to sacrifice, especially when it comes in the context of our loved ones.
I was sitting there in 'Tatkal(instant) reservation' coach. This man was sitting in front of me. I and my family were talking and having fun. I saw the man in the above posture and clicked his photograph. After looking at the photograph, I talked to the man for some time. He had his rustic way of expressing. He was a bit rigid in answering. I tried to understand that his photograph is not actually depicting his life but he is conveying of a middle aged commoner. One who sacrifices a lot, much more for his family. He would earn to feed and to make everyone happy. Even he would fake it to be happy just to give happiness to others.And at the end of the day when he meets his solitude. He sees the sacrifice and looks out in the evening clouds. Thinking of the things he could be, if he
didn't choose certain paths of life. But he thinks that he was bound to what he is now.
He looks away from the window and again he tries to involve himself in the happiness given to others by him. Knowing that he might be deprived of reverence for his well doings.
Seeing him, I remembered the lines of a song...."For my pride and my promise...Between my lies and how the truth gets in the way..."
This is my testimonial to all those who Sacrifice a large part of their lives for their loved ones.
When eyes start searching, they end up finding something which soothes our souls. Back to the days when I went to 'the holy village of Almighty GOd-Manali. I couldn't end up filling my days with the beauteous scenes. Those spectacular moments which my eyes were capturing every second of my stay over there.
I went to Rohtang, there I clicked this picture. I didn't intend to click this man with mountains in background. But I clicked for the sole view of mountains. And when I was sorting pictures I felt as if this picture was taken to show me the thoughts, this man was having in his mind at that very time.
His eyes are in search for peace that he would find after feeding his family. By selling tea or coffee to someone on the way to Rohtang. His body says to stay for a while and take a wee bit of rest to sum up his courage to earn money for his 'peace'.
May be his eyes were flashing his mind with desires he held in his mind. His dreams which were burnt in cold of top-hill there. He sees people everyday coming for a change to his place of earning and there he wishes to earn the same day for his life. To adventure his life with his family. Or may be he simply wanted to stay and look how desperate Humans are to adore the beauty of NATURE.
Whatever he thought, one thing was for sure. He had eyes with desire.